Episode 1: The Hunt For the Bastard Son

The Hunt for the Bastard Son is the first episode of the second arc. It was posted on March 11, 2019 and is available on Spotify, YouTube, and iTunes.

Episode Description
"With a new world in front of them, The Fools become The Fated. Taxi gets a weird dog, Br'aad commits a crime, Mountain gets drunk, Velrisa gets a new haircut, and Sylnan is right-handed."

Recap
Each of the Fated saw something strange in the caves, each meeting people who may be close to them. They individually receive new items from them. Brendan is defeated, and Ungaroe is weak.

Storyline
The party begins in a meadow with their newfound items and information. Sylnan still seems unwell, but he lies in the grass with Taxi, the meadow peaceful and full life. Mountain suggests they drink, having no current objective. Br'aad decides to try out the Wand of Wonder, the item he was given Arc 1 Episode 27.

Br'aad scans the area and finds a grasshopper on a blade of grass. He aims the wand towards the grasshopper with the intent of turning it into a goose, but instead casts Fireball centered on the grasshopper. The explosion streaks towards the rest of the party; Sylnan and Taxi manage to avoid it, but Vel and Mountain are hit by the blast. Vel grabs the wand out of Br'aad's hand as Taxi tries to put the meadow out. However, the fire spreads rapidly towards the forest and nearby town, from which screaming is heard. The villagers begin to run buckets to the well, and the party joins, pouring water on the spreading flames. Sylnan and Taxi repeatedly scale the well to fill buckets, which they use on the fire. Many villagers grab their belongings and children and run out. Br'aad tries to convince them to leave their children for buckets and help. Few of them listen.

Hilltree is cowering behind the well.

While Hilltree cowers behind the well, Taxi panics, pacing and asking nature for rain. Taxi throws an ice knife, which only melts in the fire. Suddenly, the tabaxi has an epiphany and he throws his marble elephant into the air. Similar to Br'aad's wand, he received this from his goddess Nula in Arc 1 Episode 27.

The figurine spins around and becomes a real elephant. The elephant stomps over to the well, and commoners help fill its trunk so it can spray the fire. With the assistance of the elephant, the fire is finally snuffed out, and although much of the meadow is still singed the village is luckily not damaged. Some of the villagers being applauding as Taxi solemnly casts Druidcraft on the scorched ground. Br'aad and Sylnan are fascinated by the elephant, considering that the most they would know about elephants would be something Br'aad read in a book. Br'aad remarks that it looks like a large dog with a tube on it.

Br'aad goes to apologize to Velrisa and Mountain, who have had much of their hair charred. Upset at Br'aad, Velrisa casts Thaumaturgy, turning her eyes red, and towering over him. Although she rolls badly on her Intimidation check, Br'aad chooses to fear her and curls into the fetal position.

The innkeeper from the town approaches the party and offers to let them have free rooms in the inn for the night due to their efforts in putting out the fire. Sylnan tries to accept the request, wanting to sleep in a real bed for the first time in a long while, but Velrisa intervenes and reveals that Br'aad started the fire. Although Br'aad tries to explain that it was unintentional, the innkeeper is unconvinced and says that Br'aad isn't welcome in the village. He points down a road and says they should follow it to Shaygrove. Br'aad gives him a shard of expensiveite as an apology.

Br'aad asks what he can do to make it up to Mountain and Velrisa, and Mountain requests that he "fuck off" for 15 minutes. Taxi, from atop the elephant, reaches down the trunk to let Br'aad up. Mountain and Sylnan hold hands passionately walk side by side. Mountain asks what being dead was like, and Sylnan says that it was peaceful. Sylnan notices that the curse on his left arm seems to be getting worse, and Mountain suggests they cut it off. Sylnan is unwilling, stating that he uses the arm often. Mountain wryly remarks that he bets so, considering that his girlfriend is dead, to which Sylnan unamusedly retorts that he is right-handed.

Meanwhile, Br'aad asks how Taxi got the elephant, and Taxi says it was given to him by Nula when they had their visions. Br'aad confides that her feels like he can't get anything right, and he's crushed by the weight of his mistakes. Taxi agreed he's felt the same before.

The party's conversations are interrupted as they notice a tattered banner on the side of the road. They realize that they have come across what appears to be an ancient battlefield, which is littered with humanoid bodies. Upon closer inspection, the bodies are revealed to be those of long-dead humanoids as well as Warforged, which the party members recognize only as strange mechanical beings. Velrisa finds no life in the bodies, realizing that they have all been here for a very long time. Br'aad recalls stories he heard as a child about a war between the local natives and dwarves, who would create mechanical beings to fight for them. He tells Mountain that these came from his "people"— meaning dwarves— but Taxi interjects that Mountain doesn't have any connections to the Dwarves, because he was raised by giants. Mountain aTnversatioarrives in ield of c, a town which ot the best psmall and g spiriis unable to speak to them. As the rest of the party getsasks Braaddand Vel ve the battlefield, Mountain investigates an intact automaton and finds a dried, humanoid organ inside it before rejoinunmount the elephant party. Tshrinkskback ould like to ride the elephant, exclaimsdin surprise, startled her both.

Whelephant and the strange display of magic party explores the battlA nearby 'aadis shocksare given directionse the elephant Tube-Dog, which Taxi rejects evemakes Br'aad wince as he is reminded of Lupin. of the party members like the name.

Instead, Taxi casts Speak with Animals on the elephant, asking if he has a preferred name. The elephant says he does not. Br'aad has another idea, which he whispers to Taxi, and Taxi asks the elephant if he would like to be named Ugarth, in memory of their half-orc companion. The elephant agrees, and the party decides to nickname him Ug (o͞og).

Mountain walks towards the graveyard. It seemed to have been a little over half a century since the bodies have been dead, as the bones were very brittle and old.

Velrisa guesses that the automatons were meant to be made for war.

They are large and broad-shouldered. Br'aad remembers hearing words on the streets in his childhood about a war between the local natives and dwarves. The dwarves were knowledgeable in engineering and would create their own mechanisms. Br'aad turns to Mountain and says that these came from his people— meaning dwarves— but Taxi is interjects that Mountain doesn't have any connections to the Dwarves, because he was raised by giants. Mountain is angered saying that the place they are in— a field of dead, discussing his past— is not the best place to be. The bones seem to vary between two races. Velrisa feels the presence of wandering spirits, but is unable to speak to them. Taxi invites her to mount Tube-Dog, which she accepts. Mountain goes to an intact automaton and finds a dried, humanoid organ inside it. He drops it and the party continues towards Shaygrove. The town seems fairly small, and they don't find anything particularly special in the mundane village. They head up, and soon the roads become narrower. Taxi asks the two if they enjoyed the ride (Grizzly accidentally flirting with Wheatie, as Bizly threatens to leave the podcast) as they unmount, and Ug fades, shrinking into a 4-inch statue. The rest of the party is distraught about seeing Ug disappear. Nearby, a man yells, seeing the elephant. Taxi asks him where an inn would be, and they are directed. Vel asks where they can find a barber, which Br'aad winces at.

As the party heads towards the inn, Br'aad says, "Kapow!" and casts Prestidigitation to spell "have a good night" in sparks. The man is vexed by the display of magic, and Br'aad sends another, more subdued message, "sorry." By this point, Mountain has already disappeared into the tavern.

Midroll
Slimecicle opens with a pun referring to the creases in your stomach when you sit down, and he says that he will do one— a midroll. It's finally the start of the new arc, and the team has finally seemed to find their footing. He thanks anyone who has listened since the first arc, and that if you've invited any friends to listen, that they should start at this episode, or listen to the arc 1 recap. He says "hey!" to any newcomers, and plugs iTunes, Discord, and Twitter. Any questions, concerns, concerning questions, or questioning concerns should be directed to their Twitter hashtag, #jrwishow.